I'm approved!!!!

and with my recent approval, i bought not one, not two, but three 2800 lb. gorrillas for a mere $1,900.00 each.

it's okay to be jealous. and when they get they're final home, i'll show you how they are doing.

Youth In Revolt!!

Finally!!!! My favorite book is coming soon to the silver screen. Since I can't write a book review, I found one that pretty much says it all about this cult classic.

"The Funniest Book You'll Read This Year"- says the NY Times about the fictional story of Nick Twisp and his erstwhile diaries. I'd say more like the funniest book you'll read in your LIFE. The story focuses on the 14 year old youth, and his die-hard efforts to win over (and then keep) the girl of his dreams: Sheeni Saunders, the ultimate intellectual goad. Written in the form of a diary, we follow Nick through the trials and tribulations that his life brings him: A mother who is expecting a baby during (ugh) middle age, an asshole father who is in arrears on his child support payments, and his mom's vast array of boyfriends including Wally, the laconic truck driver, and Lance, the demonic cop. After accidentally blowing up half of Berkley, CA's gormet ghetto, Nick is forced to flee from his mom's house to Ukiah, CA...home of his father and Sheeni. When the police catch up to him, Nick is forced to flee again, this time doning the atire of a woman and calling himself Bertha Ulansky, whose mother is "a famous obscure film personality". The book takes place of the course of 5 1/2 months of Nick's hectic life, finally leaving us with a clif-hanger ending that drags us into book four. (Youth In Revolt is actually 3 shorter books, previously published seperately, combined into one.) All in all, I must say that this is the greatest book I have ever read, and you can commonly hear me spouting references to it (that no one gets...) and comparing it to the likes of the Bible in its glory. The genuis of author C.D. Payne is so awesome that you really have to read this book more than once to get the full effect. Personally, I have read the book 43 times cover to cover in the last 5 years. This one is definately tops.

seriously pissed off viewer!!!

as i was virulently searching the "internet" for info on the release of "mtv's undressed" to dvd, i was greatly disturbed. there is no anticipated release of it to dvd. i can't believe that. i mean they have all 60 seasons of survivor out, including the one from 2010 that has not been aired. if anyone has any episode on VHS or somewhere in the library i will gladly pay for the shipping so that i may transfer it to dvd and become rich off of other dumbasses who like this show. including myself.

now for a question to root out all of you early 90's tv addicts. during this time, mtv was showing some pretty kewl stuff; Liquid Television, Aeon Flux, Bobby and Billy, Beavis and Buthead, The Maxx, The Head, Undressed, and some other show i really liked. this is my questions. i need help finding the title of this show. i can't remember the name of the guy in it, but he sort of looked like a cross between tom welling and john bon jovi. the premise, if i can remember correctly, involved him being dead or dying because he had a chip in his head that was going to do something and he was wanted by fbi/cia/nsa/any government agency for some crime or scene he witnessed. i remember it being good and would like to know if it is available for purchase.

if you can help me, i will mail you a shiny new quarter.

thanks

Chew on this...

1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.
6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.
7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.
9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk.
12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
14. Man with penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts.
15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.

A Singapore beatdown!!!

Please write an essay describing what you did on your holiday break children. Feel free to use visual aides if you think it will help your grade.

well, somehow cb and i left seoul korea this afternoon at 4:30pm and we landed in los angeles, california this morning at 10:15am, suposably this all happened on january 9th. if the us government expects me to believe that we traveled 10,000 miles and went back in time without entering a wormhole, then just call me crazy.

after much adieu about nothing, we decided that the most user friendly version of our trip would be in the form of top ten and top five lists, ie. david letterman or high fidelity. they are in nor particluar order other than numerically.


TOP FIVE PEOPLE WE MET THAT WE DID NOT KNOW PREVIOUSLY TO THIS TRIP.
1. Tiny Girl- Tiny Girl is a superhero that lives in Korea. She is less than 2 feet tall.
2. South African on minibus- Could not stop talking about things we should visit in Africa.
3. Scottish guy at Bangkok airport- We split a cab and a tuk-tuk, we had an awsome conversation and yet I have no clue what he said.
4. The self proclaimed Queen of Samui- She ran a guesthouse and travel agency that got us from northern Thailand to the south for less than $40 american for two people.
5. Over edjucated Malasian on minibus- Its funny that we could run into someone in law school in Indianapolis in the middle of southeast asia(SEA).

TOP FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE HOTEL JUNE OUR FAVOURITE HOTEL.
1. Heated wooden floors.
2. French fries come with every meal.
3. UV Purifier for your dirty glasses and shoes.
4. A toilet that does everything for you but take your dump.
5. Better than hotel May but not as good as Hotel July.

TOP TEN STRANGEST/FASCINATING THINGS WE SAW.
1. Watched a big dog kill a big rat right in front of a shanty that served the best vegetable fried rice we have ever had.
2. The Patronas Towersw and their adjacent shopping center.
3. If you can explain why every floor of every mallshopping center we went into had at a minimum 7 Hair Salons, I would kiss you.
4. A dog with eyebrows. see photos for proof.
5. McDonalds is holding out on Americans. They apparently have a Prosperity Burger. And BK has the Imperial Whopper. Why don't we get to enjoy these tastey treats? Call your local Congressman and complain.

TOP FIVE THINGS WE ATE.
1. Bi-Bam-Bop - Apparently more popular than flowers and sausages in Korea.
2. Ginger Tea- If you want the most refrshing beverage you have ever had, go to an authentic Indian Restraunt and ask for it. It might not be on the menu, but most places have it anyway.
3. Rothi- A cheap and filling Indian snack.
4. Durian- I describe it as follows; "It tastes like dirt that has been fucked by a hobo." CB says; "If you leave egg salad in the sun for 10 days it might taste better than this." So what did we learn. Do not eat Durain in any form. see photos.
5. Christmas/Boxing day dinner- Turkey, Ham, and all the usual fixens.

TOP FIVE WORST THINGS THAT HAPPENED BUT MADE US BETTER PEOPLE
1. Its hard to go into battle without a game plan, but it sure makes for intersting times.
2. Realising that Montazuma's revenge lives in Thailand.
3. Traveling for 14 hours in one day through 2 countries on 9 different vehicles inclluding a jeepney, truck, bus, ferry, car, and minibus and only paying $18 each.
4. Always ask how much before you do anything. No matter what.
5. When it rains in SEA, they really mean it. But on the bright side, we learned a new card game.

SOME OF OUR FAVORITE PICTURES- BE SURE TO CHECK CB'S SITE FOR MORE PHOTOS
By god he has eyebrows. That is hair, not shoe pollish.

Us at the Patronas Towers. They are in the reflection.

Our beach.

I am not sure I like OJ with sacs. I know I don't like my sac with OJ.

Us at the Grand Palace in Bangkok.